A Warning About Demons

Posted: January 2, 2013 in Uncategorized
Still from "The Possession".

Still from “The Possession”.

When Word Press sent me my blog stats for 2012, it came with a suggestion: write more about demons! Well, not exactly in those words, but the post with far and away the most views discussed the reality of demons. For some odd reason, that little post garnered me 1,000 hits in one day. It was certainly not the most interesting, intelligent or thought-provoking piece I have written, but it had wide appeal. So, I suppose it’s fitting to begin the new year with one more post on this topic, and then, if you all don’t mind, I want to leave it far behind.

There was one investigation that convinced me that demons are not metaphors, not a product of human psychology (although that is how they interact with us), not simply negative energy, not upset ghosts or spirits, but something else entirely, something we must take seriously and leave alone. Are they real? If you measure ‘real’ by the effects that something or someone has on the environment, on people’s emotions and thoughts, on every living thing within its vicinity, then there is nothing quite as real as a demon.

This case involved a friend of one of the PHW that we agreed to help out with a haunting. Erin had investigated there before and did not feel that anything happening in the home could be classified as demonic in nature, even though she said “it was very, very dark.” For that reason, she wasn’t terribly concerned the second time around. We had been told that the images appearing were Native American in origin, and the homeowner had convinced us that we were dealing with spirits of the land that were in the house, creating various disturbances. We didn’t have any reason to fear him, the house, or anyone in it. He lived there with his wife and a roommate. When we arrived, it was dusk. I first noticed something off before I walked in the house. The patio was in a state of disarray and the plants were dead or dying. It felt as if no one had sat out there or tended to the garden in months. I didn’t like this introduction to the house–it felt like a warning of something I couldn’t name or understand at this point. The environment felt dark before I made it to the door.

ANXIETY

The tour of the house did little to alleviate my growing sense of discomfort, of something ‘off’ about the homeowner and his property. The roommate lived in a room on the ground floor, but we never saw him. A storage area mounded with dirt gave off a dank, unidentified smell. Next to the mysterious roommate’s abode was a room that I hated so much, I refused to enter it. There was a feeling of death in the bathroom upstairs and the hallway that led away from it to the bedroom. I didn’t like how the living room felt, and it was only marginally better in the kitchen. Oddly enough, I felt disconnected from the stories the client was telling us about the phenomena in the house; usually, I’m fascinated by the accounts people share with me, and I listen attentively. Not this time. Instinctively, I felt that I must hang back and not pay attention. I played with my camera, my recorder, anything to distract me from him and the stories.

He tended to speak about his ex-wife as if she were still very much involved in his life. The dynamic among the three—husband, wife and ex-wife—seemed very unhealthy and fraught with tension and drama. This borderline-abusive situation seemed the catalyst for the activity, as if whatever was in the house was feeding off the unhappiness. Some of the paranormal incidents were frankly sexual in nature, and I didn’t understand why a ‘ghost’ would possess someone during sex. My level of alarm and discomfort intensified, especially since we had all been led to his bedroom when the tour ended and were listening to stories that had little to do with spirits and souls visiting a home. Normally, I could write this off as just eccentricity or a poor attempt at flirtation with the girl ghost hunters, but something made this entire scene very different. The client was not himself. He seemed to be struggling with something that whipped him back and forth between worry and aggression. He appeared to have two distinct personalities: one was sweet, open, kind and curious; the other, threatening, overly sexual, dominating and invasive.

kollwitz_death

I started to feel as if I had lost the ability to exercise my free will. I knew that I should leave, but I couldn’t get up off the floor. I felt sick in a deep, spiritual way; it was almost like an infection of the soul that sapped all my strength and energy. I stared at my recorder and tried not to look at anyone. It was dark in the bedroom, but there were areas that were darker. The other ladies were talkative, bright, and apparently unconcerned. That made me feel even worse, since it appeared that I was the only one who was deeply afraid of what was happening. I can’t talk about the specifics of what was said that night for confidentiality reasons; suffice to say that nothing made sense to me. I felt an overwhelming confusion. I was not able to put together these accounts into a coherent narrative, which made me feel like I was losing my mind.

Typically, during an investigation, the threads come together. The stories make sense when taken as a whole. The home yields clues as to what is happening inside. We all work as a team of detectives, unraveling the mystery and finding answers for both the client and ourselves. This is what we expect; this is why we investigate, because we discover the reasons behind a haunting, even if we can’t supply names and dates. This investigation, however, was not a haunting. The information was fragmented and unrelated, bits and pieces of something that would not form a story. The client and his tales of supernatural happenings resisted interpretation or understanding. The data was not coalescing; every time I ventured an explanation for the phenomena in the house, something would contradict it.

The client himself was not well and getting worse. His emotions were out of control and his behavior was erratic and bizarre. At one point, I was seriously afraid that he might hurt someone. And yet, I could not move. I was rooted to the spot on the floor. I couldn’t speak. Although I tried to communicate with the other members of the team, they didn’t seem to hear me or know that I was attempting to reach them. I don’t know if I was actually talking. As a result, I went further into myself, deeper into my head, more and more isolated from everyone and everything. I felt a total disconnection along with the need to protect myself from something I couldn’t see or understand. I had lost my ability to do anything about this situation. I was a hostage.

DSC_4576

The situation intensified, the spell broke, and we finally escaped. I can’t reveal exactly what happened that propelled us out, but there was reason for real alarm. Later, I discovered that all pictures from that night were black and that the audio had a continuous hiss that rendered it useless. There was no usable data from that investigation. That was the first time that every piece of equipment had failed me.

The after effects of that visit were terrible for me. The rest of the night I felt out of my mind and angry. I couldn’t control my emotions for about a week afterwards, and I couldn’t stop unwanted images and thoughts from flooding my brain. I felt as if I were on the verge of insanity and almost made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. The only reason I didn’t was because no one in the medical profession would believe what I discovered later: the client was suffering from either oppression or possession by one or more demons (again, I can’t get into specifics here, since we were not the team that discovered this information) and the house was infected with evil.

This case was referred to a team who specializes in clearing houses of intensely negative energies. This was actually the second time that they came to the rescue. According to Erin, not even the second visit from a team that specializes in demonic cases cleared the home. It was only when the roommate moved out that house and the homeowner found peace. That leads to speculation about the mysterious house guest—as I said before, we never saw him, probably because he kept an unusual schedule. I remember the client telling me that this roommate slept a great deal, at odd hours. He also occupied the ground floor with its damp, heavy and threatening feel. I don’t know—and I’ll never know—the connection between the roommate and the demonic forces at work in the home. There is information that I am quite sure we do not have.

When I started out in paranormal investigations, I did not believe in the literal existence of demons or even demonic energy. I thought that anyone who believed such nonsense was either suffering under the delusions of Catholicism or confusing Satan with human psychology and its propensity to create its own hell. Now, I know differently. What happened during that investigation changed me forever. I will never again walk into a house that feels so dark and charged and attempt to ‘investigate’ it. The entire experience felt designed to wound, confuse and isolate me. It seemed as if someone were laughing at me and trying to ruin everything I cared about. It was unbelievable and awful.

I don’t want to write about demons again, no matter how popular they are, or how many views those posts might garner. I did it this time as a warning for those of you (few of you: most people are very smart about this) who find this fascinating and might wish to pursue an interest in the occult. No matter how ‘interesting’ or cool this might seem to you, to pay it attention, to focus on it, is to give something power that will only turn on you and rip you to pieces emotionally and spiritually. There is nothing–I repeat, NOTHING– worth such destruction of everything you hold sacred, of everything you love.
Leave it alone. Walk away.

–Kirsten A. Thorne, PhD/PHW

camarillo secret door

Comments
  1. Susie says:

    Thank you for sharing, Kirsten. I know how hard it is to talk or write about such things, but I sincerely hope that the people that need to, will heed your warning.

    • parawife says:

      Hi Susie,

      Thank you for the comment–yes, I too hope that people will listen. There are so many “ghost hunters” who treat the whole thing like one, big game designed for their entertainment. It is a very bad idea to think there is no such thing as evil, but often for the young and inexperienced, they simply can’t believe that there is anything bad in the world–the the Other World–that can hurt them. They usually find later, after they’ve paid a huge, pscychological price.

      • Susie says:

        Yes! Recent experience with a 12 year old relative ‘playing around with contacting’ the Other Side…. it was NOT a good experience for her, and I hope she has learned her lesson and does not try anything like THAT again.

        On another note, totally off the subject, but nevertheless relevant: for some strange, or not so strange, reason…. I have always, since becoming an adult, bought brand-new, just-built houses. The house that I lived in from birth to 6 years old was an old home built on or very near Civil War battlefields, and as I child I had many nightmares and I *remember* talking to ghosts and having *imaginary* playmates.

        From the age of 6 until I bought my first house at the age of 22, I lived in a home built on an old citrus orchard that had only been occupied for 18 months prior to my parents buying it. The couple my parents bought the house from were still with the ‘living’ and no deaths had taken place in the house. The nightmares stopped after moving into that house, and I don’t remember talking to ghosts nor imaginary playmates for the rest of my childhood.

        Coincidence? I think NOT! But it took me until I was looking to buy my 5th and last house, my ‘retirement’ home so to speak, 8 years ago, to make the connection. As a ‘sensitive’, somehow I just must have *known*…. intuition, perhaps? Or a piece of *friendly* advice from the Other Side?

  2. I live in a haunted house, and it’s always a challenge. I have to simply allow my house to live its strange, little life and not get frightened. I do have nightmares, but I know that even new houses can soak up the energy around them, and sometimes people themselves attract spirits, so I’ve decided to live with my ghosts and let them do their thing! All I ask is that they don’t freak out my cats and bird!

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